


Everything Was Fine

by VoidAndroid



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Jealousy, M/M, Multi, Past Underage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-13
Updated: 2013-07-13
Packaged: 2017-12-20 02:56:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/882113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VoidAndroid/pseuds/VoidAndroid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel nodded.  "I understand.  But I would like to know something, Sam.  How was my performance with Dean?  Would you consider me a capable lover?"</p><p>"How would I know?"  Sam could feel the blood draining from his face.  </p><p>"I ask because you were watching the last two times that Dean and I engaged in intercourse."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Everything Was Fine

**Author's Note:**

> Nothing really inspired this. I just wanted to write something which included Sam, Dean, Castiel, and somewhat of a plot. This is one of the first works I've written in years, so forgive any rustiness. Otherwise, please enjoy!

"Sam's at the library. Don't worry, he stays there all night when he's sulking," Dean said after taking another short sip straight from the whiskey bottle, not even wincing at the slow burn that crawled down his throat.

Castiel's eyes went from the bottle and back to Dean, but his expression did not change. "Why is Sam sulking?"

"Hell if I know. Something I did, something I said. It's always something and always my fault. Doesn't matter." He placed the brown bottle on the table with a loud _thunk_ , hoping Castiel took the hint that time for conversation was over.

Castiel was intent on Dean's nimble hands, never straying from those long fingers as Dean unbuttoned his simple plaid shirt and slid it from his broad shoulders. Lean chest was exposed and Castiel's gaze grew hungry. They consumed Dean, absorbing the image of him teasingly inching his way out of his jeans, wearing no boxers or briefs, then motioning for the angel to join him.

Dean grunted in faint surprise when Castiel surged toward him and grabbed him, turning him so he hit the wall with such force that a picture fell and cracked on the floor.

"Dean, I'm-"

Dean shook his head and silenced Castiel with a finger to his lips. "Don't say you're sorry. I like it rough."

At those words, Castiel's gaze turned a stormy blue, and he kissed Dean roughly, heavily. They ended up having sex right there against the wall, Dean stark naked and Castiel in his long coat. Panting and pounding against the thin hotel wall, ignoring the pale stains that laced across it, Cass came inside of Dean, his vessel shuddering at the impact of orgasm in his body, and Dean cried the angel's name as he emptied in their fists.

Sam very slowly closed the door and stepped away, his face lax with shock. His hand was still on the door knob and he jerked it away as if it burned. He had decided on not going to the library after all, instead having gotten Dean some beer and chicken so they could drink together and watch crummy television shows, kind of an apology for how he'd stormed out earlier, but he'd come in to see this. The door only a fraction of an inch apart, just enough to watch his brother and Cass engage in passionate sex, he'd stood there like an idiot as traffic passed on behind him and a stray cat swirled around his ankles. He hadn't moved.

"Mrrrrrrow?" the cat beseeched, and Sam looked down at it, the wiry black beast with its eyes like moons staring up at him with hope.

It brought him out of his trance and he let a slow breath pass between his lips. He sat down on the hood of Dean's car and brought out the chicken that had probably led the animal to him in the first place and shared it as he thought about what he'd seen. Sam's heart had raced at the sight of Castiel kissing Dean. His stomach had turned as he'd watched him fucking his brother against the wall that was yellow with cigarette smoke and stained with only God knew what. He put his hand against his belly, still feeling a little nauseated. He wasn't sure why he was so upset. Yeah Dean was fucking Cass behind his back, but Dean went through phases where he fucked a lot of people, and although Sam had never seen him pursue a man before, he'd always known that Dean found them attractive.

Sam flushed at the memories that came to him, ones he tried to supress because they weren't healthy to think about. A memory of that achingly hot, dry summer when the grass was dehydrated and brittle. It had scratched against his back but Dean was so gentle on top of him that he had barely noticed the chaffing on his skin.

"No," he said out loud, startling the cat. He had promised to never, ever think about that again. What he and Dean had done was sick, wrong, taboo. It had been a moment of passion and in their youth, with no one else to comfort them, who could blame them. All they'd had was each other. Now Dean had Castiel and it made sense he'd... instead of Sam. Yes, it made perfect sense, and it was fine really. It was fine.

He steeled himself with that thought. It was great that Dean had found someone to be intimate with that wasn't just a one night stand. It was obvious that he and Castiel had been having sex for a while now by the easy way they'd gone from conversation to intercourse. And Sam thought it was fine.

Walking back into the dingy hotel room, he found that Dean was in the shower. He'd picked up his clothes and laid them on the foot of the bed. Cass was gone. Not surprised, Sam set the no longer cold beer on the table and turned on the television.

"Hey," Dean said as he emerged from the steamy bathroom. "This place looks like it sucks, but the shower is great."

Sam watched his brother move toward the bed, wearing a small towel low around his slender hips. He felt a bitter emotion rolling around in his belly and tried to maintain an expression of calm. Dean and Castiel. That was _fine_. Dean had Castiel's marks on his hips, where the angel's hands had grabbed just a little too roughly, and stubble scrapes were evident on his jaw and neck. How had he not noticed all this before?

"So who have you been fucking?" Sam asked before he could stop himself. He hadn't meant to ask it.

The easy way Dean rolled his shoulders pissed him off. His lie came so fluidly that he'd had to have rehearsed it. "Just some guy. I gave him my phone number yesterday when we were at the bar and I guess he got lonely."

"Just some guy. Right." Sam glared at the TV. "Since when do you fuck guys?"

Dean looked sharply back at Sam over his shoulder. "Since when do you give a fuck who I fuck?"

Sam bristled and had to tell himself to calm down. It wasn't the fact that Dean and Castiel were lovers that bothered him. It was the lying. That had to be it, because he had never cared before when Dean fucked randomly.

"I don't. I don't care," he said, forcing himself to relax. "It's fine, really."

"I thought you'd be at the library all night." He eyed the beer on the table. "When did you get back?"

"I just got some beer, sat in the park and fed a cat. Got back while you were in the shower, obviously."

Sam's eyes were on the TV but his thoughts were on Dean being pinned to the wall while Castiel's hips pumped back and forth, up and down. Their grunting, their groans, all masculine and deep, the banging on the wall. He realized his nails were scraping against the plastic chair arm and he stood up.

"Maybe I _will_ go to the library."

"Okay..." Dean was looking at him suspiciously, but he tried to hide it by putting on his shirt.

Sam walked there, needing the cool night air and quiet. He needed to study something, get these irritating images out of his head. One second he was thinking about Castiel and Dean. The next, he was thinking about himself and Dean, that one time when they were teens, exploring and touching, kissing like it was going out of style. They'd kissed from mid afternoon until the sun went down. The heat had been sweltering but they'd hardly noticed, hands all under each other's sweat soaked T shirts, stroking at developing muscles and sensitive skin. Sam had been smaller than Dean then and it had felt natural to be underneath him, letting his older brother take control because he was more knowledgeable about making out, and they'd never talked between kissing and moaning, afraid of breaking the spell.

Before he knew it, he stood inside the library, looking for books on the occult that he hadn't yet read. They rarely revealed anything he didn't already know. Most of them were full of garbage and superstitions, and he browsed for several minutes, letting the wonderful quiet of the library console him. The familiar feel of cool paper against his fingers soothed the distraught emotions that he couldn't understand. Facts and fiction chased away the shadows left by memories that he should have forgotten.

Eventually Sam had his fill of legends and fantasies. He closed the book and took the few he'd browsed back to their proper places. As soon as he was about to leave, however, the memories resurfaced, and he cursed himself. He cursed Dean. He wanted to curse Castiel but was afraid the angel would overhear. His entire world was cursed and he hated Dean suddenly for making him remember that one summer night. It had been like something out of a story book, a romantic tale of moonlight and heat and gentle sex...

_"Are you sure this is okay?"_

_Sam nodded and stared up at Dean, who was looking at him with an expression he'd never seen before. It was kind, loving even. His green eyes were dark despite the moonlight that brushed across the abandoned old field. His lips were swollen from kissing Sam and they smiled briefly before settling back over his little brother's mouth. They kissed and it was like Heaven. The world spinned and melted away until all that mattered was the feel of their tongues sliding, lips touching, the sucking and nipping and licking._

_"Sammy," Dean said huskily, his hands starting to wander._

_Sam didn't say anything, afraid Dean would stop if he broke the spell. The next thing he knew, Dean's fingers were clambering into his shorts and rubbing him through his briefs. Sam whimpered against Dean's lips and tightened his own fingers in his hair, pulling Dean in so their lips mashed together almost uncomfortably._

_Dean leaned away a few inches, breaking the seal of their kiss and once again gazing down at Sammy. They had been kissing for over an hour and he'd just now been brave enough to get his hand into Sam's shorts. Sam was eager for it, his eyes reflecting the lust in Dean's. There was no fear in him, just the desire for more. He wanted Dean to do this to him._

_"Ahh," Sam gasped, body quaking as Dean's hand worked itself into his underwear and started stroking him. "Don't stop, Dean. I want to go all the way."_

_Dean grinned at Sammy's words. "All the way, is it?" He looked down at the sight of his hand moving inside his brother's shorts, his fist a lump that went up and down. "Sammy, you haven't even been with a girl yet."_

_"I don't care. I don't want those girls." His breath caught now and again as he tried to talk. "I trust you, Dean."_

_A cool breeze moved through the brittle grass and it rustled around them, the music of it making Sam feel even more like this was suppose to happen, that this was right. Dean was so handsome in the moonlight and his hands were so gentle, his lips wonderful as they kissed at his ear and neck._

_"You're too young to know what you want Sammy."_

_But Sam knew he had him by the harsh, throaty whisper he issued warmly against his shoulder as he nipped at it. Dean was drowning and Sam was happy to know that he wasn't the only one._

_"Maybe most other boys are, but I'm not, and you know it. Dean, I trust you." He reiterated that, wanting Dean to understand. "Please Dean. All the way, just this once."_

Sam broke out of his reverie as someone else entered the college library, a student doing some late night research. He darted behind a full shelf of books and adjusted himself, trying to hide the fact that he was erect and his face was heated from the thought and himself and Dean together as young teens.

"Need some help with that?"

Sam almost jumped out of his skin at the voice. In his hurry, he hadn't realized that the student had crossed to his section of books, for some reason also interested in the occult. The young man couldn't be over nineteen or twenty, with dark good looks like Dean.

"I... no," he stuttered.

Hazel eyes darted down to his pants, the outline of his erection still visible despite Sam's attempt at hiding it.

"You sure?"

Sam hesitated. This was where Dean would give his phone number with promises of meeting them at a hotel later that night. This was also where Sam usually bolted. Usually. He looked into the student's eyes and damned if he didn't look a lot like Dean.

"Well..."

Half an hour later, Sam left the janitor's closet looking quite flustered. The sex had been quick, heated, satisfying. He and the student shared a last long kiss and went their separate ways. Sam felt dazed and strangely satiated, finally not thinking about Dean for the moment. He could still taste the condom in his mouth and bought a cold soda from the machine on his way out of the building, sipping it as he walked back to the hotel.

Dean was still awake when Sam walked in.

"Who have you been fucking?"

Sam felt his face heat up. He'd tried to smooth his clothing and hair and appear less debauched. But all it took was one glance from Dean and he'd known.

"Why do you care?"

Dean stared at him, green eyes taking in the sight of Sam whose cheeks were still flushed. "I don't care," he finally admonished.

Sam shrugged and took a long hot shower. Dean appeared asleep when he got out and he turned off the TV and went to bed as well. Sam refused to think about Dean anymore that night. Instead, he thought of the sex he'd just had, comforting himself in the memory of someone other than Dean.

~*~

Over the next few weeks, Dean became very confused by Sam's behavior. He avoided looking at him, stayed out all night, and sometimes came back home looking like he'd had a very rough fuck. His eyes would be glazed with that 'I just had a killer orgasm' look, one that Dean remembered, his hair in slight disarray and tell tale marks on his body.

"I'm going out," Sam said one night after they'd killed a particularly nasty spirit. They'd both spent a long time in the shower to get the ectoplasm out of their hair.

"Aren't you a bit tired of going out?" Dean tried to keep the edge out of his voice, but it was there all the same. Sam's behavior was worrying him and he didn't want to admit it out loud. The only thing he could figure was that Sam's irregular fuck in the library that night had awakened his libido. "We did just get exploded on."

"What I'm tired of is staying in these hotel rooms." Sam laced his shoes and didn't even glance at Dean.

"Then let's go to the bar together."

Sam finally looked at his brother. He seemed to hesitate, his jaw ticking in either anger or stress. "Fine."

"Good."

"Let's go then."

"I'm waiting on you." Dean had the keys in his hand and started his way out the door.

Dean glanced sideways at Sam as he drove. Sam stared dutifully out the window.

The bar was small, but it was full. Several shots and bad country songs later, Dean was feeling pretty good, which meant Sam was drunk as all Hell. Dean could go on forever without getting so drunk he'd pass out in the street. Sam had a pretty good resistance, but he could never outdrink Dean.

"You looked so funny, with that green shit all over your face," Sam was saying, laughing until he was breathless.

Dean smiled so that the corners of his eyes crinkled. "In case you don't remember, you had a lot of goop on you too."

"Yeah but you looked so surprised."

More laughter ensued, and Dean rolled his eyes. "All right Sam, I think you've had enough. Let's go."

"No, no. You go ahead." His laughter died down and he seemed to calm himself a bit. "Really I'm fine."

"I'm not leaving you here drunk so you can go find some quick dick in the bathroom," Dean growled. "Let's go Sam."

Sam's mirth faded in the instant those words left his brother's mouth. "Excuse me?"

"The past week you've fucked at least three different guys. It's just not... you, Sam."

"Fuck you, Dean. Why do you give a shit?" He took Dean's shot before he could grab it and swallowed it down in one gulp.

"Come on Sammy."

"Is that why you had to come with me? Afraid I might 'find some quick dick'? You're the one who's been dicking around behind my back."

Dean felt his blood go cold as he stared into Sam's fuming face. Sam slammed the glass down on the table and poured himself another shot before Dean could even think of what to say. "What are you talking about?"

"You and Cass! Did you think I wouldn't figure it out?" Another swig. "So don't go judging me on who or what gender I decide to fuck. And don't expect me to want your approval because I don't need it."

"How did you..."

"I saw you two fucking. All right? It bothered me at first but really, Dean, it's fine. I don't care. But you don't have to lie to me. You and Cass... you're my brother and he's my friend and I couldn't know?"

Dean felt guilty. He looked at Sam, who had an expression of anger and hurt on his face. "Sam, I didn't mean to keep it a secret. But I couldn't figure out how to tell you, either. But that still doesn't explain why you're fucking a bunch of guys."

"To be so smart, you're so damn stupid sometimes." Sam shook his head. "Just... forget it, Dean."

"Sammy, look. I'm... sorry. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, okay? Does that make you feel better?"

"A little." Sam sighed and blinked slowly, trying to clear his head. "I didn't mean to explode like that, Dean. Sorry. I just haven't been able to stop thinking about it. It's been making me feel like crap. I was wanting to wait for you to tell me, but I just couldn't anymore."

"You've been thinking about it? About me and Castiel, you know, screwing?"

"You're such a pervert."

They stared at each other, then began to laugh.

"So we're good then? Because Cass and I are together, if you catch my drift. I'd like your approval Sam."

Sam stared into the shallow amber liquid that rested in the bottom of the glass for much too long. He wanted to tell Dean truthfully that it was fine and he was happy for him, but the horrible twisting in his gut every time he thought of them together let him know it would be a lie.

"I approve, all the way," he finally said, putting on his best smile. "There's no one I can think of more worthy than Cass."

This seemed to relax Dean. "Good. That's good, Sam. Thank you."

Sam swallowed the bitterness in his mouth. "You're welcome, Dean." He raised his glass. "Cheers and long life and all that," he said, chasing it down with a loud gulp.

Dean didn't ask again why Sam had been fucking around. He let it go, considering the fact that Sam was an adult and could do what he wanted. But it still nagged at the back of his mind. If he knew correctly, the only time Sam had ever been with another man was the night he'd taken his virginity in the grass behind that delapidated old barn. Dean stared at his brother, who was continuing to fill himself with alcohol, and felt a twinge of something warm when Sam's eyes met his own.

_"Dean, I trust you. Please, all the way. Just this once."_

_Dean knew he should have stopped what he was doing right then. Before he and Sam crossed a line they could never come back from. But he was past stopping, had been since the moment he'd wrestled Sam down into the grass and kissed him, feeling his brother relax underneath him as soon as their lips met, and they hadn't stopped all evening._

_Sam was writhing underneath him and Dean leaned down to suck on his slender neck while he stroked him. He supressed the groan that wrought him as Sam began to pull off his clothes. He couldn't stop him, not now. His body was so beautiful and covered in scrapes and bruises from the fighting and rolling they were always doing. His fingers were rough from climbing trees and scaling fences, and as they brushed across the facial hair that Dean was trying to grow, he knew he was lost._

_"Okay Sammy," he whispered against his shoulder. They were getting naked and Dean didn't feel the least bit wrong about it anymore. "Just this once."_

_Skin touched skin and they suddenly became all hands. Dean could feel Sam hard against his thigh and he wanted to experiment with him, find out if he could make his little brother come from rubbing it on him, but he didn't. Dean moved his hand down Sam's back and rested it against his bottom, pulling him in close so every inch of bare skin pressed against one another._

_When Sam looked at him, he wasn't scared. He did trust Dean. His eyes, shining gold and green at the same time, were beaming with trust and devotion and love. Dean knew that whatever might happen between them in the future, this moment would always be theirs. Sam giving something special to Dean, and Dean making sure he handled it carefully and gave Sam a memory that would last forever._

Dean came back to the present as Sam spilled a little liquor over the side of his glass. He was really drunk now and Dean watched him with more than a little guilt. "Come on, Sammy. Let's get out of here."

Sam swayed as Dean grabbed him and helped him out of the bar. No one paid them any attention and Dean drove them back to the hotel. It was a decent room, not as seedy as some, and Sam rested comfortably on his bed when Dean laid him on it.

"Dean," Sam said, not sure if he liked the way the ceiling was spinning, "do you ever think about that night?"

"What night?" Dean asked even though he knew exactly what Sam was talking about. He sat on his own bed and pulled off his shoes, trying to act nonchalant.

"You know, _that_ night."

Dean glanced at Sam, who wasn't looking at him, but was staring up with an arm thrown across his forehead.

"You're drunk, Sam. Just forget about it."

Sam closed his eyes. "I can't. I can't forget about it." He took a deep, shaky breath. "I'm sorry, Dean. I shouldn't have asked you for something like that."

Was Sam crying? Dean suddenly didn't know what to do. He hated it when anyone was crying. He wasn't exactly good at comforting people. "Sam, come on."

Sam glanced over at him and Dean was relieved to see that there were no tears. "I'm serious, Dean. I shouldn't... I can't..."

"If I remember correctly, it was mutual. Stop being so weird on me, Sam. That was a long time ago."

"It meant a lot to me."

"Well, don't read too much into it. We were kids."

Sam tried to sit up so he could take off his shoes, but the world tipped dramatically and he fell back on his pillow. "We were never kids, Dean."

Dean shook his head and went over to Sam, taking off his boots. "Yeah we were. We were kids and you need to just forget about it."

Sam's mouth set in an an angry line and he sat up on his elbows. "Kiss me and then I'll forget about it."

"What?"

"You heard me."

"Sam, I'm not going to kiss you. You're drunk and you're being a jackass."

"I don't care. Fucking kiss me."

"No."

"Kiss me or I'll keep bringing it up. I'm not even kidding."

"And what do you think my kissing you will prove, Sam?"

Sam sighed and would have rolled his eyes if they didn't feel like they already were. "Just do it. For me, Dean."

Dean had a stormy expression on his face as he tossed his brother's shoes to the floor. He glanced over at his bed as if he might find solace there, but he knew Sam wasn't going to let this go. So he leaned over him and kissed him.

Sam's hands were immediately in his hair, not letting him escape, and Dean was unsure if he wanted to now that their lips were pressed intimately together. Sam felt nothing like he had when they were kids, all stubble and long hair and wide masculine mouth, and he tasted like cheap whiskey, but his techniques were pretty close to what Dean remembered. It made sense considering he was the one who taught Sam to kiss like this.

"Dean," Sam whispered, his voice having gone raspy in seconds.

Dean deepened the kiss himself. Their mouths fit together as if they were meant to be locked in an embrace that was quickly becoming fierce.

"Sammy," he murmured as he broke away. "Is that what you wanted?"

The sadness in Sam's eyes made Dean's gut feel like a stone had been dropped in it. "Yeah, Dean. I'll leave it alone now."

Dean wanted to lean back in and capture Sam's frowning mouth again. He wanted to kiss away whatever it was that was eating at him.

"Sam, you're my brother. It's just... not right."

Sam half laughed. "Of all people Dean, why should that stop you?"

Dean leaned away and went back to his own bed, leaving Sam feeling empty. "Goodnight, Sammy."

Several seconds of silence and then finally, "Goodnight Dean."

~*~

"Sam, that's the most... the stupidest thing I ever heard you say. And it's lame. Very lame."

Sam shut the car door. "Eddie Murphey did better stand up comedy than Arsenio Hall."

"Don't let me hear that come out of your mouth again."

Sam grinned and shook his head. "I can't help that you're wrong."

"And I can't help that you're the lame assiest guy I've ever known and I'm ashamed to claim you as my brother." When he glanced over at Sam, his eyes were sparkling with amusement, and they let the conversation end there while it was still fun.

Tracking down a demon that seemed to like torturing young boys and girls, they had arrived at a nice modern home of the middle class, sitting in a neighborhood of identical houses. The Nielson's son had taken a a sharpened bone and stabbed himself in the heart. He was only eight.

Sam interrogated the Nielsons for the case they were working on with gentleness and understanding about their son's death. Dean asked the tough questions and received the irrate looks.

"That could have gone better," Dean said wryly when they exited the house, straightening the front of his suit.

"Well, you need to learn to approach people with more compassion. You have plenty of finesse out there hunting, but none when it comes to real people." Sam had a forgiving look on his face. "But that's just how you are, Dean."

"Are you trying to say I couldn't be compassionate if I tried?"

Sam smiled a little, and they continued the conversation while driving. "I don't think you'd like to try."

"I can be compassionate." He swerved to miss a squirrel that was darting across the road. "See, right there."

Sam rolled his eyes, but he was smiling. "I'll let you do the next interview then. You can show how... gentle you can be."

Dean glanced over at him. "You're making fun of me, aren't you?" Then, whispering just loud enough so Sam could hear, "Friggin jackass giant of a douche."

The rest of the short ride was quiet. They found a hotel and Sam parked himself at the little dining table near the window and got on his laptop to investigate deaths in the area. Dean went out to do the footwork. It was the normal routine. Sam sipped on a bottled water and scanned through the local newspaper website and cracked the police department's files. He numbed himself to the pictures of dead children and knew they had to bring this demon down or die trying.

When Dean arrived, he was carrying coffee and donuts. Sam gave up his water for coffee and stared at Dean over the rim of his cup as he set about cleaning his gun.

"Find anything?" he asked.

Dean looked up at him. "I think it's one of the Nielson's friends, probably a soccer mom they all trust. Just gotta find out which one."

"That would make sense." Sam watched Dean's long fingers move along the gun barrel and he felt a twinge of desire. After the night Dean had kissed him, Sam had done as he'd promised and let it go. He wasn't sure if it was the alcohol remembering things that didn't exist or if Dean had really meant it, but Sam was pretty sure that Dean had enjoyed kissing him, and that if he'd just pulled him back down again, more would have come out of it.

"You OK Sam?"

Sam realized he was staring at Dean and he cleared his throat. "Yeah. Sorry. I was just thinking, all these vics have come from the same neighborhood..."

They talked about the case until Cass showed up. Sam greeted him with a nod. Dean greeted him with a kiss. Now that it was all out in the open, they weren't shy about how the felt for one another, and although words of love were never spoken, the touching made Sam very uncomfortable. He tried not to stare at them or even glance in their general direction, afraid of seeing that image in his head again of Castiel pinning Dean to the wall and their desperate sex.

"I think I'll go take a walk," Sam said suddenly. The atmosphere was getting a little too tense. "It's obvious you two need some... alone time."

Dean looked relieved. "Thank God for Sam's compassion," he said with a grin.

"Don't mention it," Sam said, taking it as Dean's sort of thank you.

Castiel even tried a polite smile. "It really isn't necessary that you leave, Sam."

"Oh it's necessary." Dean was almost pushing his brother out the door.

Sam closed the hotel door and it locked behind him. If he wasn't feeling so jealous, the whole scene would have been amusing, but instead of laughing and shaking his head, he stared at the little window with narrowed eyes and a hard mouth. Before he could think twice, he started walking, looking up at the sky as sunset approached. The lavendar sky was dashed through with neon orange and myriad shades of peach. It was a beautiful sunset and he wished he could enjoy it, but he felt a turmoil of emotions and ended up at the bar.

He'd only meant to have a few beers and watch the game that was playing on the hanging big screen, but it ended up being several beers, and he was starting to sway on his stool. Why didn't that night mean to Dean what it meant to him? Why couldn't he be like Dean and forget it, move on, find someone else to fill his memories?

"For fuck's sake," he whispered, wiping at his eyes, but the memory came anyway.

_"Does it hurt?"_

_Sam was tense and he clutched at Dean's shoulders. "A little. But don't stop."_

_Dean kissed his brother's lips, forehead, and neck as he pushed a little more into him. He was throbbing inside of him, and Sam could tell by his nearly supressed shudders and the way he was sweating that he was trying not to come. It must have been very difficult for Dean, going this slow._

_Sam grinned and slid his hands down Dean's long back. Grabbing handfuls of Dean's ass, he pulled him in closer, forcing him all the way inside._

_"Oh fuck Sammy," Dean gasped. "Not so fast. I don't want to hurt you."_

_Wrigging beneath him, Sam's nails scraped lightly up Dean's back, making his brother shiver in ecstasy. "I'm not one of your girls, Dean. I can take it."_

_Dean laughed. "No, you're not one of my girls. If you were, I'd have fucked you hours ago. To Hell with all that kissing... shit."_

_Sam moaned breahtlessly as Dean began to thrust, so slowly that it ached. Dean's body was sleek and gorgeous, and Sam moved his hands all over it, even pulled his thighs up so he could press them around his brother's waist, feeling the power of all his muscles while they moved against him._

_"Faster Dean," he demanded, and Dean went faster, grinding into him. Suddenly what felt good before now felt breathtakingly amazing, and Sam's hips rose every time Dean's fell so they met perfectly with each thrust. Stars shot behind his eyes and he could hardly hear himself moaning and crying out Dean's name as he came from the sensation of having Dean inside of him._

_Dean's mouth settled over his and they kissed as Dean's hand wrapped around his erection and pumped him immediately after he started coming. Two more thrusts and Dean was pouring himself into Sam. The actual sex had lasted maybe two minutes, both of them worked up from their hours of kissing and foreplay._

_"I love you," Sam whispered against Dean's mouth._

_Dean didn't even hesitate as Sam would have expected, but finished his last stroke inside of Sam and pressed his lips to his brother's throat. "I love you too, Sammy."_

_They lay tangled in one another until their sweat had cooled and their bodies had finally relaxed. Dean gently pulled out of Sam and he laid on his back beside him, staring up at the full moon. Somewhere nearby an owl called, and the grass continued to make its dry, whispering sound as the wind moved through it._

_"Thanks, Dean." Sam smiled and brushed his fingers against Dean's, and then they were holding hands._

_Dean shrugged. "Don't mention it, Sammy." Then he kissed Sam's hand and let it go. "Ever."_

Sam decided he'd had more than enough to drink. He didn't want Dean's fun with Cass interrupted by coming to scrape him off the floor. Paying the bartender, he stumbled his way back to the hotel, barely able to keep himself on the sidewalk. Fortunately no one paid him any attention and he reached the hotel with little difficulty despite his intoxication.

When he tried the door, it was still locked. "Still?" he grumbled irritably. He looked around and found himself completely alone. Even the street was empty at this time of night. His gaze strayed to the window and the crack in the blinds that he'd noticed earlier while on the laptop. Well, he'd find out how close they were to finishing up; otherwise he would retire in Dean's car and to Hell with the both of them. He felt foolish kneeling on the pavement below the window, like a teenage peeping Tom, but he'd already seen them fucking once, so what was the difference?

Apparently there was a big difference. Dean was riding Castiel in the dimly lit room while the angel held onto his hips, fingers laying deeply in the flesh there so it would show bruises later. Dean was stroking himself quickly and Sam could tell by his expression and the sweat dripping down his back that he'd been working for a long time on top of his lover. He came finally and Castiel sat up on one elbow, his free arm wrapping around Dean's neck and forcing him down for a messy kiss.

Sam tore his eyes away and laid his back against the wall, closing his eyes tightly to fight the dizziness. He wanted to go back to the bar, find someone to ease the pain of seeing his brother and Cass together, but he was too drunk now to find his way or make a decent judgement. He made himself knock on the door, then he slumped against it.

"Are you two done yet?" he called.

A few minutes later, Castiel opened the door, fully dressed and looking completely cool. "I apologize if our lovemaking put you in discomfort, Sam. It was longer than I initially planned."

Sam fake smiled and walked past him. Dean was in the shower, typically. "It's fine."

Castiel sat down on the now messy bed where Dean would be sleeping. "You are okay with this?"

"I said I was, so I am."

"I feel tension from you when Dean and I are together. I assure you Sam, I have no intention of taking Dean away from you."

Sam sluggishly took off his shoes. "Cass, seriously, don't. I'm not in the mood. I just want to go to sleep."

Castiel nodded. "I understand. But I would like to know something, Sam. How was my performance with Dean? Would you consider me a capable lover?"

"How would I know?" Sam could feel the blood draining from his face.

"I ask because you were watching the last two times that Dean and I engaged in intercourse."

A stricken voice came from the bathroom doorway. "He _what_?"

Sam groaned and was glad that he was pretty drunk right now. "Dean, it's not what you think."

"The Hell it isn't. You _watched_ us? Cass, why didn't you tell me sooner that my brother was a voyuer?"

Castiel had a somewhat confused expression on his face. "I saw nothing wrong with it. I knew Sam was there, but he was not interrupting, and I know you get angry when I stop so-"

Dean held up his hand. "Okay, I get why you were being ignorant. But Sam? What the fuck, Sam."

"Dean. It wasn't like that. Jesus Dean, I was in shock. I'm still in shock. I guess I just... froze."

"Froze while watching us fuck? Twice?" He then looked at Castiel, who did not seem bothered by their altercation. "Could Sam and I get a little privacy? I might punch him and you don't need to see that."

"Punching Sam will not solve anything," Cass interjected.

"Just go, please."

Castiel stood and looked between the two brothers, then disappeared with the soft sound of flapping wings.

Dean looked ready to scrap. "Sam, I don't know what the fuck is going on with you lately, but you have to snap out of it. Fucking around and now I find out you watched me and Cass screwing?"

Sam didn't even look at him. "Damn it Dean, I didn't do it to get a rise out of it. In fact, it kinda makes me sick."

"So what, then? I don't get it. I honestly don't."

Sam could hear him pulling on pants, but he still refused to look, not wanting to see the look on Dean's face, not wanting to read the expression of disgust.

"I guess I'm a little jealous," Sam admitted.

This seemed to make Dean even more exasperated. "Of what? You're still my brother, Sam."

"Maybe I want to be a little more than that. Maybe I want what Cass has."

This made Dean silent. Dean stared at Sam for a long time. "You know that'll never happen, Sammy." His voice was gentle, not angry as Sam had expected.

Sam removed his shirt and because there was nothing else around, threw it at Dean, but he didn't exactly have great coordination when he was drunk and it hit the floor a few feet away from his target. He was angry, jealous, lonely, and he wanted to hurt Dean as much as he wanted to kiss him.

"Why the fuck not? Dad's not around to find out and get pissed, Mom's not here to judge, and we don't have any friends to disappoint. Why am I not good enough?"

Dean sighed and sat down in the spot Castiel had vacated. "It has nothing to do with that and you know it. Why can't you let it go?"

"Because every time you and Cass are together I feel my gut wrenching. I want you, Dean."

"Well, I don't want you like that. Get that through your giant head."

"Is that right?" Sam stood up, feeling a bit sobered by their conversation, and walked to Dean. "Then fight me off."

"That won't be difficult considering you can hardly stand on your own."

Sam pushed Dean onto his back and crawled on top of him. His mouth clashed against Dean's and he kissed him hard, not even waiting for a response before he was nudging his brother's lips apart with his tongue. Dean's hands were on his arms, at first just gripping them as if he was considering prying them away, but after a few seconds they relaxed and he was stroking the lengths of them as the kiss deepened.

"Dean," Sam murmured, moaning as Dean's soft lips opened up to him willingly, and they were kissing with abandon, teeth scraping and tongues darting.

Dean slid his hands across Sam's broad shoulders. "Sammy, I..." he tried to say.

Sam knew he was going to protest so he began to hump him, nudging his hips across Dean's. "I want you Dean."

"Fuck you Sammy. Fuck you." Despite his words, Dean grabbed at Sam's ass and groaned as Sam began to nibble his ear. "Jesus, Sam. Don't you ever give up?"

Sam leaned up and traced Dean's wet, swollen lips with two fingers. Dean's eyes were dark and Sam loved how deep they looked with desire. "All you have to say is no."

Dean flicked his tongue across Sam's fingertips as they swirled around his mouth. "You son of a bitch." Dean closed his eyes as if he couldn't take the sight of Sam sitting on top of him, long hair brushing across his jaw as he stared down at him. "Sam, stop. We can't do this."

Sam felt disappointment rise in him and he choked back his sudden desire to cry. "Why, Dean?" It came out as a rough whisper and he hated that he couldn't hide his emotions like Dean.

Reaching up, Dean pushed Sam's hair aside and cupped his face in his hands. "I won't betray Cass, not like this and especially not with you."

"God damn it Dean. How am I supposed to live like this?" Sam's hands covered Dean's and he pressed them more firmly against his face. He needed Dean's touch more than he'd ever needed anything.

"I'm sorry, Sammy."

"But you want me, Dean. You can't tell me you don't feel it too. Every time we touch, we kiss, it feels right. When you... when you are with me I don't need anyone else. I could fuck every guy in the world and none of them would make me forget when you made love to me. I can't forget and I don't want to."

"Sam..." Dean's voice was throaty and he pulled Sam down for a slow, soft kiss. "I never forgot either, Sam. You're so damn beautiful. But I'm not the same person I was then and you deserve much more than what I can give, because that ain't much."

"Jesus, Dean. You think I'm the same? You think I don't know that you're damaged and your mind is just a bit fucked up from the places you've been? That shit doesn't matter. I drank demon blood, I betrayed you on more than one occasion, but you're still at my side and you've never given up on me." His fingers entwined with Dean's. "I love you, Dean. And even if you say no to me and I have to watch you and Cass together for the rest of my life, I'm still going to be there at your side and I'm still going to love you."

Dean stared up at his little brother for many long, stretched out seconds. He finally brought him down into his arms and held him, his hands moving through Sam's soft hair. "I love you too, you giant douche. Damn it, Sammy. Why now?" He sighed heavily, not really wanting an answer to that question. "I meant it though, about not betraying Cass. I love Cass."

Sam felt his heart splintering and his fist balled in Dean's shirt. "You love him."

"He's my angel, Sam. I would burn the world for him." His laugh held no amusement. "I'd do the same for you."

"Dean." Sam was going to damn himself later for saying this. "You could have us both."

"What?"

"I would rather have part of you than none of you. That is, if you'll consider it."

"Consider what, exactly? Cheating on Cass with you?"

"No, not like that. I mean, you and me, you and Cass..."

"You sure are kinky, Sammy." Dean chuckled and kissed Sam again. "You dirty boy."

Sam was blushing and he hated himself. "I didn't mean at the same time."

"Doesn't that sound kinda hot though? Two brothers and an angel of Heaven?"

"Dean, now you're making fun of me." Sam rolled off of him and they laid beside each other, still holding hands on one side.

"I would never do that." His green eyes sparkled as he looked at Sam. "You're not gonna let this go are you?"

"Nope."

Dean groaned and slapped a hand over his face, rubbing at it. "I'm gonna have to talk to Cass."

"Talking to me will not be necessary." Castiel appeared out of thin air and despite having seen it happen a hundred times, both brothers sat up in alarm. He looked at them both calmly, his expression unreadable. If anything, he showed slight curiosity.

"Cass! How long have you been there?" Dean demanded.

"Long enough to understand that you love both myself and Sam and that Sam has felt tormented since he saw us together that first time. That would explain the change in behavior which worried you, Dean."

"So basically you never left." Dean mumbled something rude.

Castiel turned to Sam. "You are like family to me, Sam. I do not see any reason why you shouldn't join our relationship."

Sam stared in dumbfounded silence at Castiel.

"Sure, why not?" Dean interjected. "Just another sin to add to our list, right Sammy?" He nudged his brother with his elbow. "Keepin' it all in the family."

Castiel gave Dean a reproachful look and turned to Sam. He leaned down to him and placed a hand on the back of his head, then he kissed him soundly on the mouth. Sam was too shocked to struggle, and even if he'd wanted, Castiel's grip was like that of iron, reminding Sam of his celestial strength. Cass kissed like Dean, which shouldn't have surprised him. Sam forced himself to relax and accept the kiss. His mouth opened and Castiel was gently moving his tongue inside, and Sam distantly heard himself make a noise that sounded like desire...

"Now that's hot," Dean said, ruining the moment.

Castiel broke away from Sam and although his face was completely blank, both Sam and Dean could see that he was hard. "My vessel seemed to enjoy it as well."

Dean scoffed. "I think it's too late to be blaming it on your vessel, Cass. You liked it and you know it."

Feeling completely sober now and somewhat wishing he didn't, Sam moved away when Castiel tried to kiss him again. "This is not happening," he refused, trying to muster his dignity. "Maybe in the future I'll be okay with it, but right now it's too much. I'm sorry if I'm disappointing anyone by not jumping naked between you two, but-"

Dean smoothly interrupted with, "I thought I was the one everyone wanted. That would put me in the middle."

Sam stared at him in honest confusion. "Would you take this seriously, Dean?"

"No Sam, I get it, I really do." He smiled at his brother and kissed his ear, whispering into it. "But it's hard to get over being jealous, isn't it?"

Flushing, Sam gave Castiel a guilty look. "I just don't think I'm ready for the whole deal yet."

Castiel nodded. "I understand, Sam. I know that you and Dean need to discuss things, but I want you to know that although I consider you my brother and am willing to share Dean with you, you can not have him all. I suggest you get used to this fact."

Upon saying this, he was gone. Sam relaxed a little and let out a frustrated groan. "Is he upset?"

"Maybe a tad. He'll get over it."

"Do you think he's still here?" He hated how Cass could become invisible.

"Well if he is, he's about to get an eyeful."

Dean closed his mouth over Sam's and they kissed with no restraint, letting passion guide them, leaving behind all doubts and uncertainties. Sam decided he didn't care even if Castiel was watching from somewhere. Right now, Dean was his, and he was going to enjoy this moment.

They wrestled out of their clothes, both in a hurry, passion mounting to unequaled heights. Sam grinned as Dean pounced on him and they explored each other's bodies while kissing sloppily, rediscovering one another. Dean was still sleek, made up of fluid muscles and long legs. His lips were soft, full, and tasted of everything wonderful. Sam buried his fingers in Dean's short dark hair and pushed that sexy mouth down to his neck. Dean obediently bit and sucked at it as they began to thrust against one another.

"Dean," Sam warned, his breath hitching. He'd been waiting far too long for this. Dean's hard body was against him, rocking suggestively, their cocks pressed together and Sam knew he was going to come like an oversensitive teen.

"What's the matter Sam?" Dean was panting, just as lost as Sam. "Is it too much for you?"

"God fuck yes it is," he admitted. "Stop."

"I don't think so, Sammy." He only rocked faster, ground down harder. "I'd like to watch you embarrass yourself by coming from a dry hump."

Sam's fingers dug into Dean's shoulderblades and he arched up as he fell over the edge. "Fuck you Dean, fuck... oh shit."

Dean was laughing breathlessly against his shoulder as Sam came. "Mmm, Sammy," he moaned, knowing it would only turn his brother on more, and he smiled when Sam answered with a loud whimper. Dean angled his hips downward and with a few more short thrusts he was coming as well. He and Sam clinged to one another as they rode out the orgasm, their hips melded together.

Sam lay panting with Dean on top of him, unable to think coherently. This wasn't even sex and he'd had his mind, and other things, blown. "You came too, Dean. And you had sex earlier. So who's embarrassed?" he asked when he was finally aware of his surroundings again.

"I can go all night, Sam." He lifted his head from Sam's shoulder and kissed his mouth teasingly. "Can you?"

The night that ensued would be something Sam would never forget. Their first round was gentle, loving even, so that Sam hardly felt any pain, something Sam had appreciated when he and Dean were teenagers. The second time was rough and sensual, a sweaty experience that took them to the shower where they made love yet a third time under the steaming spray. When they had finally worn themselves out beyond the point of coming again, they lay together and watched dawn approach, the room glowing a dim orange.

"I don't think I'm going to move from this bed all day," Dean was saying as he stretched his sore muscles.

Sam agreed with a nod. "Sounds like a good idea."

"Then you two will need this. After all, there is still a demon to kill." Castiel stood in the center of the room with a cardboard drink carrier holding two cups of latte.

"Cass!" Sam grabbed the shirt he'd thrown at Dean the evening before and covered himself with it.

Castiel seemed unaware that he'd done anything unordinary. "Sam, you are an attractive young man with a healthy body. There is no reason to be ashamed of it."

Dean sat up and walked over to Cass, draping his arms around the angel's neck and kissing him intimately. "Thanks, Cass."

"You're welcome, Dean." Castiel's eyes had darkened from the kiss and one arm went possessively around Dean's waist.

Sam cleared his throat. Although jealousy reared its ugly head, Sam didn't feel as sick as he had when seeing them together before. In fact, he felt he could get used to it. Dean and Castiel were both hot, and he loved them both. Why couldn't it work?

"Yeah, thanks Cass," he said, trying to keep himself covered as he slid on his discarded jeans.

Dean guzzled his latte despite the fact that it hit his stomach like a bomb. "All right, let's find us a demon!" he said with more energy than he felt he really had, rubbing his palms together.

Sam watched as Dean disappeared into the bathroom. He glanced at Castiel uncomfortably, who was openly staring at him, and found a clean shirt to put on.

"Sam..."

"I know, Cass. And don't worry, I'm okay with all of this." For the first time since it had all begun, Sam felt truthful when he said it. "Really, I am."

Castiel attempted a smile and gave Sam a stiff hug. "I am happy. Perhaps in time we will find feelings between us as well."

Sam laughed a little and hugged him back. "Yeah, maybe."

"Are you two going to start making out behind my back?" Dean asked as he rejoined them, teeth brushed and hair in fashionable disarray.

Sam just shook his head and turned to pack up the laptop. If Castiel was willing to share Dean, whom he loved and protected, then Sam felt he could try it, too. He looked at Dean, who was giving Castiel a warm smile, and for once the jealousy wasn't there, especially when Dean turned to him with that same loving expression. Dean never had to say anything out loud. His eyes always spoke for him.

"Let's go catch that demon and send him packin'," Dean said as he brandished his demon killing knife.

Castiel disappeared, probably to land in the back of the car, and Sam followed Dean out of the door. If only their problems ended here, with hunting simple demons, and they didn't have to worry about saving the world for once. Sam knew he could be happy with hunting and having Cass and Dean at his side. For now, he would forget the bigger issues and bask in what little happiness he could glean from these moments with his brother and his best friend.

 

 


End file.
